The Last Word
If it wasn't for the internet, I wouldn't have found out what meningitis means. When the word was first mentioned in the ER, I thought, "oh, so like, mono or something." Nooo, not exactly, genius. Even when the doctor was about to give me a spinal tap, and she turned towards me dramatically and said in her best grave voice, "it is very important that we do this," I was still all, "la dee da". Even when they immediately quarantined me in a room and starting pumping me full of antibiotics, I was like, "weeeeee!" Even when I had three needles sticking out of my arms, a constant heart monitor and a catheter in my lady business, I was all, "ho hum!" The previously mentioned quotes of nonchalance are perhaps more a demonstration of my level of consciousness at the time, but you get it. I didn't exactly realize the potential drama. Even when Hannah walked into the room with a face mask, plastic visor, gloves and hospital gown. "Yawn!"
When it was safe enough for me to be at home, and I could handle sitting in front of the computer for more than 30 seconds, that's when I plugged "meningitis" into Wikipedia. 10-15% of people die from bacterial 'gitis?! Oh. Ok. Ummm... maybe it's a good thing I didn't know this? Maybe they don't tell you for a reason? Or maybe they did tell me it could be fatal, and I just don't remember (the whole first few days are kind of a foggy blur). Or maybe they assume you know. Maybe it would be like me complaining that the doctor didn't explain cancer to me. (Off topic: my cat just jumped 4 feet straight into the air for no apparent reason. What a weirdo!)
Anyway, I'm rambling. This is my last post about The 'Gitis. I guess I'm talking about this because I had what I hope to be my last appointment on Wednesday, and for the first time ever, the doctor mentioned the word death - but it was enveloped in optimism (if that makes sense). He said, "Considering you could have died, you've made a remarkable recovery." I'm not sure how I felt about hearing that out loud, having a doctor say it to my face with sincerity; on one hand, it makes this whole experience a little more scary for me, even though I'm past it. On the other hand, it's kind of like realizing a dump truck was 15 seconds away from swerving in front of your Mazda - you could have died, but you didn't. You're alive, and actually, it wasn't even a real danger. This time, the odds were in your favour and soon, you'll forget it even happened.
But it's true: I have made a remarkable recovery. Thank you very much. I wasn't thinking about it that way, cause it took me a month to get back to work - but apparently it can take several months for some people to get back to normal. And here I am, back to the gym, back to work, and going into my fifth MMVAs this weekend. 25 hours of craziness? Bring it. I'm more alive than ever.
When it was safe enough for me to be at home, and I could handle sitting in front of the computer for more than 30 seconds, that's when I plugged "meningitis" into Wikipedia. 10-15% of people die from bacterial 'gitis?! Oh. Ok. Ummm... maybe it's a good thing I didn't know this? Maybe they don't tell you for a reason? Or maybe they did tell me it could be fatal, and I just don't remember (the whole first few days are kind of a foggy blur). Or maybe they assume you know. Maybe it would be like me complaining that the doctor didn't explain cancer to me. (Off topic: my cat just jumped 4 feet straight into the air for no apparent reason. What a weirdo!)
Anyway, I'm rambling. This is my last post about The 'Gitis. I guess I'm talking about this because I had what I hope to be my last appointment on Wednesday, and for the first time ever, the doctor mentioned the word death - but it was enveloped in optimism (if that makes sense). He said, "Considering you could have died, you've made a remarkable recovery." I'm not sure how I felt about hearing that out loud, having a doctor say it to my face with sincerity; on one hand, it makes this whole experience a little more scary for me, even though I'm past it. On the other hand, it's kind of like realizing a dump truck was 15 seconds away from swerving in front of your Mazda - you could have died, but you didn't. You're alive, and actually, it wasn't even a real danger. This time, the odds were in your favour and soon, you'll forget it even happened.
But it's true: I have made a remarkable recovery. Thank you very much. I wasn't thinking about it that way, cause it took me a month to get back to work - but apparently it can take several months for some people to get back to normal. And here I am, back to the gym, back to work, and going into my fifth MMVAs this weekend. 25 hours of craziness? Bring it. I'm more alive than ever.
posted by wendy at
4:36 PM
0 Comments
